Coaching vs mentoring

Though often used interchangeably, coaching and mentoring serve different purposes:

🎯 Coaching

• Short-term, task-specific
• Focuses on skills and performance
• Asks questions to unlock answers
• Often from direct manager
• "How can you solve this?"

🌱 Mentoring

• Long-term relationship
• Focuses on career development
• Shares experience and advice
• Often from senior leader
• "Here's what I learned..."

The best leaders do both: they coach their direct reports on immediate challenges while also mentoring promising talent on their broader career trajectory.

Why leaders must coach

Google's Project Oxygen found that coaching was the #1 behavior that distinguished great managers from average ones. Here's why it matters:

→Performance improves. Employees with coaching show 20-25% higher productivity than those without.
→Retention increases. People don't leave companies, they leave managers who don't invest in them.
→You scale yourself. Every person you develop becomes capable of doing more without you.
→Trust deepens. Coaching conversations create psychological safety and genuine connection.

Signs you're not coaching enough

🚨 You give answers instead of asking questions

🚨 One-on-ones feel like status updates, not development

🚨 Team members make the same mistakes repeatedly

🚨 High performers aren't growing into new roles

🚨 Feedback only happens during performance reviews

Principles of effective coaching

1. Ask more than you tell

The goal of coaching is to help people find their own answers. Questions like "What have you tried?" and "What do you think you should do?" build problem-solving capacity that telling never does.

2. Focus on the person, not just the task

Coaching isn't just about fixing the immediate problem—it's about developing the person's capabilities. Always ask: what can they learn from this?

3. Create safety for honest conversation

People can't learn if they're defensive. Establish that coaching conversations are about growth, not judgment. Separate coaching from evaluation.

4. Make it regular and structured

Ad-hoc coaching helps in moments, but consistent coaching conversations build lasting capability. Weekly one-on-ones are the minimum.

5. Follow up on commitments

Coaching without accountability is just conversation. Always end with "What will you do?" and follow up next time on what happened.

Common coaching mistakes

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Jumping to solutions

Giving answers feels efficient but robs people of the learning that comes from working through problems.

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Only coaching when something's wrong

If you only coach during problems, coaching becomes associated with criticism.

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Generic feedback

"Good job" teaches nothing. Be specific about what worked and why.

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Assuming everyone wants the same development

Understand each person's goals—not everyone wants your job.

How to become a better coach

1Use the GROW model. Goal (what do you want?), Reality (what's happening now?), Options (what could you do?), Will (what will you do?).
2Practice active listening. Reflect back what you hear. Ask clarifying questions. Don't interrupt.
3Give real-time feedback. Don't wait for scheduled reviews. Feedback works best close to the event.
4Ask for feedback on your coaching. "Was this conversation useful? What could I do better?"

Practice coaching conversations. Skillbase lets you roleplay difficult coaching scenarios—like giving feedback to a defensive employee or helping someone who's stuck.

Try coaching scenarios

Frequently asked questions

How do I coach someone who doesn't want to be coached?▼

Start by understanding their resistance. Often it's fear of criticism or past bad experiences. Focus on their goals, not yours. Make it clear you're there to help them succeed, not judge them.

How much time should I spend coaching?▼

At minimum, have a 30-minute one-on-one weekly with each direct report, with at least half focused on development. Add coaching moments throughout the week as situations arise.

Can I coach someone more experienced than me?▼

Yes. Coaching is about asking good questions and creating space for reflection—not having all the answers. Often an outside perspective helps even the most experienced people see things differently.

What's the best way to give difficult feedback?▼

Be direct but kind. Focus on specific behaviors and their impact, not character judgments. "When you interrupted in the meeting, it stopped the discussion" vs "You're rude." Give them space to respond.

Key takeaways

✓ Coaching focuses on skills; mentoring focuses on career
✓ Ask questions more than you give answers
✓ Make coaching regular, not just when problems arise
✓ Create psychological safety for honest conversation
✓ Follow up on commitments to ensure accountability

Coaching and mentoring: the complete guide

⚡ Quick answer